Giving Up My Fear
It was January 2004 when I sat for three days and one evening at
the Breakthrough Technology Course from Landmark Education. During this engaging
inquiry I got to see something that was neither clear nor made sense to me. That
all my life I have been burdened by my fear of failing. Many times I was unable
to take any action. In the past, I could not do many things I would want to do,
because I was afraid that I would fail later. After the course, I was still
afraid, but I started to learn how to breakthrough from my fear.
The day after the course, at work in the school that I managed, I asked one
particular female employee if she saw any improvement in me. I was very
skeptical because I always thought of her as someone who could not do any good
job anyway. I asked her, “I haven’t changed at all, have I?” Her answer was,
“Boss, your facial expression is softer than before.”
At that moment I learned something that was priceless to me. I suddenly saw that
I had the habit of making her wrong. I used to watch her everyday, and as soon
as she made a mistake - even small ones, I immediately told her, “See, I told
you, and here you did it again!” I had been on the look out to make sure that I
was right that she could do no good. This time, I immediately told her that I
realized what I had done, and I asked her if she would mind to forgive me. She
said, “not at all.” It looked like a small incident in any normal day of
somebody’s life. But it was a new beginning and it made a big difference.
Since then, my old frustrations about “how my employees were such bad people”
disappeared drastically. I used to struggle at work; I used to skip vacation,
and only got 2 or 3 percent better results at most. After the Breakthrough
Technology Course, I worked half as hard and our school made thirty to forty
percent better results. It was incredible!
What I had wanted most was to get married. But that was impossible, since it was
also my biggest fear of failing. Just thinking about the divorce that would
surely follow and all the alimony I had to pay later … Then there was the
problem if I would fail to be a good father. What would people say; after all, I
am a president of a well respected school! Well, just forget it!
But the power of the Breakthrough Technology Course is such that after I did it
I told everyone that I would get married. I did this last March in 2005. I am
now married to a wonderful woman who spoils me with good home cooking everyday.
My wife brought to my life a 4th grade daughter. Last October, I went to my
daughter’s athlete festival for the first time in my 43 years. While we fussed
about getting up early, making sure we got the right spot to watch her, etc. I
would never forget - what a great and beautiful moment it was for me and my
life.
I could share many more examples from my life. But here is the point: my
education from Landmark gives me the power and the freedom to live my life fully
– it has been fun, it is wonderful.
Masahiko Nakayama, President of a Prep School
